So I went through my existing mortgage paperwork to look at my closing costs.
My current house:
Origination fee: 203.50
Lender title insurance: 386.56
Owner title insurance: 926 (was paid by the seller, a bank, since it was a foreclosure)
Govt recording fee: 60
The “estimated” fees:
Origination fee: 1195 (83% increase)
Lender title insurance: 1892.50 (80% increase)
Owner title insurance: 1292.50 (28% increase)
Govt recording fee: 200 (70% increase)
So, uh.. I’m pretty sure they’re smoking crack.
moar house stuff
So our house officially goes on the market on Friday, which means it’s time to FREAK OUT and finish all the stupid last minute little shit that needs to be done so people (realtors and real people alike (yes I realize some realtors are real people, but are they really real people? I think they’re lizard people tbqh)) can not nitpick the hell out of it and just throw money at us. It also means starting to pack stuff so it looks less like people and dogs and a toddler actually live here, but more like a beautiful model home that has never seen baby hork or tumbleweeds of blown husky undercoat.
I decided to try calling my current mortgage company to get a preapproval letter since B of A never bothered to send me anything in writing. Because why would I need something in writing telling potential sellers of a potential house that I potentially wanted to buy that I could afford it or something? Like seriously, in this economy, they’re lucky I don’t just roll up in my Benz and smack them with a money tree. (Said no one ever.) My existing mortgage company is the fourth (!!!) one I’ve had in the four years I’ve owned my house and there is exactly zero love lost between us.
In short, they’re idiots. And today they just stressed me the fuck out more than I have been through this entire process. Did I mention I’m packing up and leaving my babbies (all four of them) to start my new job on Monday? Because yeah, that’s happening, and no, I have no idea how well I’m going to do with it. Or how well Chris is going to do with being a single parent and actually having to have those time management skills I’ve wanted for him for so long. Or that responsibility thing, even when it’s super inconvenient, because I literally will not be here to pick up the slack for him. So I am absolutely terrified but I just keep NOT THINKING about all the things that could go wrong and hope for the best.
Anyway, back to my mortgage people. They’re idiots. I get transferred between like 4 different people before I actually get to someone who understands that I just need a preapproval letter and we start going through all the paperwork. First, he asks some really weird questions that I’ve never heard of in any sort of loan process, and definitely didn’t hear ever in my last mortgage. How many years I’ve been in my industry, what my level of education is, what my race/nationality is, etc. I give him the salary numbers and tell him three separate times that I do not want my husband on the mortgage (this is a story in and of itself, but just go with it).
He starts talking about how I’m going to need to bring $15k to closing for a $165k house. $9k will be in closing costs alone and my brain blue screens because what. I brought just over $4k for my closing costs AND my downpayment on the home I own now. He says my credit is perfect. (Yeah, I know, I busted my ass to make sure it is.) He starts talking about how I may not qualify and what other assets do I have, like how much is in my 401k.
Um. What. For one, the home I own now I bought before I was married, when I was making literally less than half of what I make now. It was $124k. I’m getting an 18% raise, which means my new salary is almost THREE TIMES what I made when I bought my first house. I’m only looking to spend an extra $41k on my new home. How can I not qualify for that? How in the hell is it expected that closing costs are NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS. I don’t even. So he sends me the stuff in writing because I’m like “you keep saying numbers and I need to see something in writing.”
The prequalification letter (which is not the same as preapproval, you douche) shows $175k, with a loan amount of $168,875. Fine, whatever, you don’t listen. Then the “good faith estimate” shows a completely DIFFERENT loan amount, and a bunch of fees that I never paid before when I closed. Plus, he had mentioned that this mortgage company covers the cost of things like the appraisal and credit check, except he included those as costs I had to pay. WHAT. I’m pretty ready to just set the world on fire or throw everyone into a volcano.
omg I have to stay away from all social media until I finish season 3.
- family: why won't you come with us?
- me: there must always be a stark at winterfell