cruel tricks of the light
You crash with music and maths, syllables and graphs.
okay, this is one of her tamer pictures, but I’m fairly obsessed with this chick now.
That crippling ass pain I’ve been having all weekend (that I assumed was from working on tiling our godforsaken living room (no seriously, the hellmouth is probs below my living room because fuck this shit) ALL WEEKEND LONG)? lolololol HI SCIATIC NERVE.
This nerve is the Troll Nerve. So from now on, you are known as the Trololic Nerve, because fuck you.
Also, this is more shit nobody warns you about in pregnancy. Well, I mean they do, technically. They say “blah blah sciatic nerve” like that helps. No, what would HELP is if they said, “this is going to feel like someone is stabbing you in the ass and lower back. Also, moving does not help. Expect that the only way you will be able to relieve the pain is to stop breathing. Or if your 130-pound-soaking-wet-husband spontaneously gains the ability to dead lift your full 160+ pound pregnant ass.”
- me: so we're tiling the living room, because it needs it. and because i ripped up the carpet.
- chris: and it'll increase our home's value.
- chris's relative: get a lot of practice so that you can come and do my house next year. HURR HURR HURR
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me: go fuck yourself.
and it seems a little bizarre to me that I’m still like “OMG SHE REALLY GETS ME” almost 20 years after I first started singing into hairbrushes to her songs.
Or we just go for the same type of men. You know. Whatevs.
![topherchris:
Only in New York, am I right?
[what?]
(crude transparent gif I ripped out)
why is this making me laugh so hard. it’s like, “imma dance while I poop. sup.”](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m44lruO79B1qz4u07o1_500.gif)
Only in New York, am I right?
[what?]
why is this making me laugh so hard. it’s like, “imma dance while I poop. sup.”
by doing ridiculous shit to make me think he’s sick and/or dying and/or has rabies.
WHAT THE FUCK DOG, STOP.
Inspirational wall banner, your heart is in the right place, but here’s some real advice from a wolf:
1. Howl a lot and do it all night long.
2. Eat cats and small animals from a neighborhood.
3. Turn into a dog and go live in the neighborhood.
4. You’re a dog now.
So my husky Leo decided that empty rooms with no carpet and fourteen foot ceilings have amazing acoustics for his vocal stylings.
(Sidebar: I singlehandedly tore the carpet up from the living room a few weeks ago in a fit of “THIS IS SO GROSS I HATE THIS CARPET” mania while Chris was at work. I also call this my “housewife on meth” energy.)
Anyway, we’ve begun to tile over the 300 square feet that was just the cement underneath the carpet. It looks awesome. It’s a giant pain in the ass, but that’s another post. Leo decides that “HOLY SHIT THIS ROOM ECHOES AND THAT’S COOL.” This would not be an issue with a normal dog. If you’re unfamiliar with how huskies talk, please go watch some Mishka the Talking Husky on YouTube or some shit. Because that’s what Leo was doing.
“BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ..OOO ..OOO ..ooo ..ooo.”
It was really funny.
-Heidi Klum
#motivate #dedicate #fitness #workout #train
(via alisonsaysso)
looooooooooooooooooooooooooool. fuck that, I choose the cookie.
since I didn’t gain my 1-2 pounds for the past few weeks (and, somehow, managed to lose a pound - I blame all this physical labor and shit, f that) it means that I can eat half a loaf of sourdough bread with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and herbs.
that’s what it means.
I will cut you if you say otherwise.
